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Trying to put thoughts into words. Erica Thinks Too Much: ericamartaball.com

I feel validated.

Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash

Lately, I’ve been on a meme-sharing rampage. All my socials have caught on and are flooding me with memes. They connect with what I’m experiencing individually, but also with what we are all experiencing on a national, even global scale: the pandemic, the isolation, the social unrest, Bernie’s amazing gloves.

This is something that is happening for many. And, as it is becoming more acceptable to talk about mental health in public places, we are seeing an increase in the sharing of memes containing depression-related content.

And it’s good for us.

But why? Why do we make and share them…


And that is still sometimes hard for me

Photo by Amanda Sofia Pellenz on Unsplash

Last year, there was one kid in my daughter’s class who didn’t have siblings. Mine. I don’t think the teacher realized this. But when they would talk about playing or home life, they often talked about their brothers and sisters. My kid would come home and ask when she would have one. She would talk about wanting one, I think, mainly because her friends all had one.

There’s no way she understood what she was asking for. She thought she was asking for a playmate. There are many kids shows and movies that stress the importance of sibling relationships. Frozen


They didn’t match the drama I expected

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Chalk another thing up to misrepresentation in media. In TV shows and movies when someone has a panic attack it’s a big deal. They clutch their chest, fall to the ground, or are sure it’s a heart attack. They heave big, panicked breaths.

They don’t curl into a ball and stay very, very quiet. I think that’s why for years, decades probably, when doctors etc. asked if I had panic attacks I would say, “No.”

I should have been saying yes. It turns out that panic attacks are not always dramatic (to those not feeling them, that is). …


Gut instincts vs distorted thoughts.

Photo by Ashley Batz on Unsplash

One Nasty Thing About Depression Is That It Is Self-Perpetuating.

That is, the symptoms are themselves a barrier to getting better.

When you don’t have the self-confidence to advocate for yourself, you can’t get the medical help or accommodation support you need. When you wake up fatigued and your body is sore, you can’t get the exercise you need. When you feel overwhelmed and tired all the time, you can’t connect with friends and loved ones. And these are some of the things that can really help.

A similar cycle occurs within your mind. One common piece of advice is to try Cognitive Behavioural Therapy or CBT. This form of…


Neurodiversity and gender identity wrapped up in a sarcastic package.

An inspirational poster of which Murderbot would approve, from https://murderousrobot.tumblr.com/.

My absolute favourite series of the last few years is The Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells. It is made up of several novellas and a recent novel, Network Effect. Turns out, I am far from alone. You’d be hard-pressed to find someone who does not like this book or series.

Murderbot is grumpy. Murderbot is just trying to do their Murderbot thing. But humans and their drama keep getting in the way, and Murderbot has to stop binge-watching media and deal with them.

I am Murderbot.

“I liked the imaginary people on the entertainment feed way more than I liked…


Dysfunctional family fun, Levy and O’Hara magic, and open, honest pride.

Moira Rose handles things well. Found at https://dwight-schrutes.tumblr.com

I am reluctant to admit that I was not an early adopter of Schitt’s Creek. Based on the promos I saw, I didn’t think I would like it. Even though I had family urging me to watch it, I didn’t. Not until it was starting to blow up in 2020. The ads didn’t do it justice because I. Love. It. But

Now I am a total convert. Not quite a Schitthead, but almost. It is such a weird show, and I love weird, but I also understand those who say it’s not for them.

Those of us it spoke to…


But, I’m watching them, and compiling video evidence.

Photo by Dustin Humes on Unsplash

I feel like I’m being attacked by octopuses. I may be overreacting.

But everywhere I turn right now, it seems there is something about octopuses.

(On a side note, I’m working on a theory that if they wanted to, octopuses could take over the world. More on that later.)

Periodically this happens, right? An animal, idea, or person suddenly seems to be everywhere, in different forms.

Some call it synchronicity and say that it means you are supposed to be paying special attention to some sort of message:

Jung believed that synchronicities mirror deep psychological processes, carry messages the way…


“Plan Ahea”. Made by the author using Canva.

Sometimes it just all falls apart.


Don’t be afraid of imperfection

Begin. This is the phase I am at. Photo by Danielle MacInnes on Unsplash

Confession: I am writing and publishing things that aren’t perfect. They’re not even great. Why?

If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be publishing anything at all.

So yeah, the posts I’m putting out are not my best work. I hope you’ll stick it out until I show you what I know I can do. I’d really appreciate that. I don’t know how long that will take, though.

I’m willing to bet some of you have been in a place like this, which is one reason I’m laying it all out there. Another is in case you have not been in a…


“No regerts.” Made by the author.

Don’t be afraid to make “misteaks”

Erica Marta Ball

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